There is now more writing available on the Internet than the sum of all books ever written by millions of monkeys at millions of typewriters. Gird yourself for the coming Reading Wars with today’s Groupon to Iris Reading , the speed-reading school that trains literacy samurai. With this Groupon, $60 gets you a one-day, five-hour class (a $199 value), which is ideal for breaking old reading habits across the knee with a spinning, backbreaking bookmark and replacing them with more effective techniques. The courses include strategies for reading technical material and computer-screen speed-reading techniques, making it perfect for business professionals. Iris has taught speed-reading courses to HSBC, one of Europe’s largest banks, as well as other financial and professional firms. The average person in the United States reads about one Groupon per minute. Iris’s website says that most students finish the Iris Reading Program reading two to five times faster without losing comprehension. That means an exceptional student could end up reading five Groupons per minute, which equal one À la recherche du temps perdu per week. Speed reading is great for students who have heavy reading assignments, providing an excellent alternative to hauling massive books at trucker speed, wheelbarrow speed, and crane speed. With your new speed-reading skills, you’ll be able to fly through embarrassing backlogs of Twitter and Facebook updates, perhaps discovering to your surprise that your sister is married. The skills and knowledge you’ll gain from lightning-fast re-readings of survival manuals and ancient Mayan religious texts will also leave you handily prepared for the galactic alignment of 2012, providing an impressive advantage over business rivals. Iris is currently working with several public schools in Chicago to help students learn more efficient reading skills, and undergrads at New York University and the University of Chicago have successfully completed Iris courses and now spend less time on textbook reading and more time on dolphin racing. Classes are held in Boston’s financial district on Saturdays and Sundays; click here for dates and times. Your Groupon gets you the five-hour course, which is much more thorough and promises higher results than the one-hour free classes Iris occasionally offers. Groupon Says The First Speed Reader How fast can you read underwater? Read more…

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Read Faster with a $60 Iris Speed-Reading Class ($199 Value)